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If you're headed to varsity next year, it's time to start applying! But what do you do if your parents don't approve of your study choice?

As sure as the sun rises and sets, there’s not a day that goes by that we aren’t faced with some kind of decision or another. Some are easy – what to wear, what to eat, what to watch on TV. Others have a far more lasting impact on the rest of our lives. What to study is one of these decisions. In fact, unless you’re superdecisive and know automatically what career path you plan to travel from the age of five (lucky, lucky!), this decision can be tricky and needs to be considered from all angles. Once you’ve made the decision, you’re halfway there: the rest is getting it done and embracing the journey. But what if your idea of being the next Charlize Theron or the future Oprah isn’t met with encouragement or support from your parents? And what if it’s worse than that: what if they’re dead-set against you pursuing the bright lights of Hollywood or gaining journalist kudos to further your career? What then?

Easy does it…
The first step in dealing with this situation is to find somewhere quiet, sit down and really get some perspective. This will allow you to be rational and logical when you talk to your parents – without the histrionics and emotions that tense family encounters invariably bring out. Prepare a case like you would write an essay. Start with the introduction of what it is you want to study. Then move on to how you will proceed with the course of study and finally conclude with the why. End off by giving a rational explanation of why this course/degree/diploma will give you exactly what you need to pursue your passion.

Listen
Our ears are the crucial tool in communication. Everyone assumes that having a good way with words will win at the end of the day, but in actual fact it’s having the courage and willpower to sit and listen – even when all you want to do is interrupt and have your say. Listen to your parents’ point of view. There must be an overriding reason for them not supporting your choice of study and often this boils down to something very simple: they don’t want you to have to struggle to find work if you’re choosing a generic study option, or they don’t want you to go to university in another province. Listen and you’ll soon spot the real issue.

Counter with confidence
Our parents for the most part have our back. They want the best for us – they’re programmed that way (perhaps it’s a gene that kicks in when humans become parents?). So try to remember this when you’re presenting your case. Filter everything you think and say with respect and genuine consideration for the points they’ve made and their concerns. Your maturity will impress them and they’ll realise that the girl that they see in front of them is not a toddler in pigtails with mud on her face, she’s a grown woman who’s passionate and excited about pursuing her dreams. That takes some getting used to, apparently. So go easy on them but don’t back away from your dream if it’s what you want. Go for it and kick ass. If it’s your passion, success will follow … along with a set of very sheepish ‘we-should’ve-trusted-your-instincts’ parents. 

Image: istockphoto.com